Re: Confessions (Alona)

[Alona Andrews]

Alona chuckled a bit, slowly nodded. "I can't believe it... I still can't believe it," she smiled. "You can't judge me, it's been a shock."

[Ellie Volkova]

Ellie shook her head. "I'm not judging you. You know I never do that to people. And yeah, it's a helluva shock, I agree," she admitted, looking at Alona for a moment. "I just...It's all so confusing..."

[Alona Andrews]

"I'm sure it is..." she said with a nod. "You know it's risky though."

[Ellie Volkova]

Ellie nodded. "I know. I was thinking about that last night actually. Like, we're being uber careful but I still got to thinking exactly what would happen if anyone found out. Either he'd be fired, or I'll be expelled. Or both," she gave an involuntary shiver as she said it.

[Alona Andrews]

Alona sighed, making a pretty long pause before speaking again. "You know what..." she started. "It's not like I'm judging you, 'cause I'm not. I'm happy for you but... Don't you think you would have felt better near a student, just like us?"

[Ellie Volkova]

Ellie was silent. Alona was right, as always. "Who'd want me?" she asked softly after a long pause, once again cuddling her knees and looking out at the water. "To my classmates, I'm an insufferable know-it-all. To my friends, well, you guys love me I guess but you don't exactly swing my way. I have literally one guy friend. And Kieran...well, he just treats me like an equal..." She gave a small exasperated groan. "I just don't know, Aly..."

[Alona Andrews]

Alona sighed, shaking her head. "You know this is not true," she told her. "You're beautiful, you're fun to be around. Guys would kill to date you. And I'm saying that to you because it's true, not because you're my friend."

[Ellie Volkova]

Ellie cast Alona a doubtful look. "Yeah, maybe..." she said quietly. She didn't know what else to say without sounding like a downer. She couldn't explain it. Yeah, she was fun, but usually only around friends. And beauty didn't count for much. She didn't want someone to be with her because they considered her beautiful, she wanted someone to be with her because of her; her personality, her smarts. "He likes me for who I am," she said softly then pulled a face at how cheesy it sounded. So does Patrick, a far part of her brain piped up but she squashed the thought. Patrick was only being friendly; he only liked her as a friend.

[Alona Andrews]

Alona smiled a bit, then nodded. It had sounded cheesy, and she was totally against cheesy, but maybe Ellie was right. Maybe she didn't have to think that much about rules. "You're right," she told her friend with a shrug. "I mean, I think you are right. But there is also the age difference... All I'm trying to say is, are you sure about this, Ellie?"

[Ellie Volkova]

"Age is but a number," she said then gave a groan. "Oh God, listen to me! I used to hate people that said that and now I've morphed into one of them," Ellie said, frustrated. She gave a sigh, looked at Alona, shook her head. "Nope. To be honest, I'm not sure about anything right now," she confessed. "It's so different before something actually happens. Like you sit in class, daydreaming, wishing something would happen. You feel like if only something happened, you'd be ok. Your love would be too strong and would survive all sorts of difficulties, or whatever. But it's all wishful thinking. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it, but it's not like in daydreams, and it's confusing."

[Alona Andrews]

Alona nodded, remembering the thoughts she had had about her P.E. teacher not long ago. She thought she liked him, more in a friendly way, but she kind of did. But she was not into romance and love stories and she definetly wasn't the one to break such important rules. So yes, she was afraid of a possible thing between them, even though she knew it was not going to happen.
"It is confusing," she agreed with Ellie. "That's why I always say that you have to keep a distance between you and the others. Not isolate yourself from other people, but stay at a safe distance. But you know, you're not me. You're different..."

[Ellie Volkova]

"I'm aware that I sound like a romantic nutjob or something," Ellie said with a wry chuckle. "I wish I could do that - just keep a safe distance. But I've never been able to. I'm either distant from people or close to them. It's a major personality flaw of mine that I gotta work on changing..."
"It's the smile that does it. Besides, as superficial or whatever as this'll sound, I'd rather not be alone right now. And it's kinda easier dating him just cos he let's me lead my own life. I don't have to sacrifice studying hours to see him, like with a regular guy. As nerdy as that sounds. He's not high-mainainance...."

[Alona Andrews]

Alona shook her head. "No, it doesn't sounds nerdy. You're right," she said. She didn't even know what to say about that; she wasn't good with people and she wasn't good at giving advice. "Well... If you feel like it's right..."

[Ellie Volkova]

Ellie gave a sigh, then smiled. "Well, we'll see where this goes. If it ends, then fine. If it doesn't, great. Meanwhile I'll have time to get my head around it all. Besides," she added cheekily, "now I'm bound to get amazing grades."

[Alona Andrews]

Alona nodded and sighed slightly towards her friend. It was a bit weird, or better said unexpected, to hear that a friend of hers, a classmate, had a relationship with a teacher. She had always been against this kind of relationships, simply because they were wrong and against the rules.
Alona chuckled at the last part and wrapped an arm around Ellie's shoulders. "I'm sure you'll take the best decision," she told her, turning her eyes back to the sea.

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